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Post by jtmx1 on Apr 14, 2006 12:10:39 GMT -5
I agree totally with Bridget! If the person your SO is cheating with is a friend you are double betrayed. It is genuine moral evil in two different ways.
Tyler, I don't think you have to consider this in terms of ownership. Consider all those cases with children involved. In that case, even if you don't the person the your new partner is married to or is in a relationship with, you have a moral obligation not to harm other people. After you imagine this case, take the children away. You still have that obligation, and even though no children are involved, you are still inflicting harm.
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Post by Tyler on Apr 14, 2006 13:49:11 GMT -5
I believe you are right. But, doesn't that mean that if you are in a relationship with someone and you feel that breaking that relationship off (even if you are just dating) would harm any children the other might have (even if they aren't yours) should keep you from breaking it off? Also, does that mean that if Tammy cheated on me I should not end the relationship because it would harm the children? Should people stay in bad relationships for the benefit of the children?
I believe the answer to all these is yes, by the way. Also, I've never felt any jealousy concerning Tammy because I have absolute faith in her devotion to me. I know, I'm still trying to figure that one out too.
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Post by jtmx1 on Apr 14, 2006 14:08:25 GMT -5
This may rub some people the wrong way... My own view is that while the interests of children are in every case the most compelling interest--even if you are only dating a single mother say--they are not the only interests. In fact, the interests of the children can take a back seat to a set of combined, though lesser, interests from other areas.
But most of the time the abstractions are mute. The interests of the children often lie in the separation of their parents. Children must be able to make sense of their parents behavior, this is how they will eventually learn to respond to the behavior of others. And if a parent allows her/his SO to repeatedly treat her/him like dirt (through cheating, as is our example) then the children will learn that either 1) It's okay to treat people like that or 2) it's okay to be treated like that. Some times it's best for the kids to call it a day.
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Post by Thanin on Apr 14, 2006 18:37:40 GMT -5
I absolutely agree.
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