Pop music. For the people.

[ryan]

Hey, gang!

Sorry I haven't been around the forums in awhile. I've been busy with work and life, and with a project I wanted to share with you tonight, and maybe solicit your feedback about it.

Basically, I've got this (not so) wacky idea of doing a "collaborative solo album" of sorts. The idea occurred to me this past summer. My band, Idiot Plot, had broken up, and I was kind of tired and frustrated with the whole band experience. But I still wanted to write music, and I thought I'd been cooking up some pretty good ideas around the time the band fell apart.

Anyway, I figured the thing to do would be to come up with a list of songs that would make a good cohesive album, declare it as a project, and then start working-up some demo versions of the tunes, and call friends in to lend their talents as appropriate.

During this time, I'd become employed at the DirecTV call-center in Tulsa. I'd worked for call-centers before, and knew the routine -- and the frustrations -- I was bound to encounter. What caught me by surprise was the intensely micromanaged environment of the DirecTV call-center.

The details probably don't matter so much, but let's just say it was the most Kafka-esque work environment I've ever encountered. The management team prescribed each of us certain numerical goals we were expected to meet, and these goals were pitted against each other in such a way that if you managed to make your numbers in one area, you'd be sorely lacking in another. It was totally ridiculous and arbitrary, and for my entire 9-month stint there, I felt like I was being ground beneath the wheel of an enormous machine.

Naturally, I started looking around for other employment. I started talking to my friends about their jobs, and even looked at the possibility of returning to Assurant Group, a call-center helpdesk that had valued my skills but had refused to pay me more than $9.69 an hour.

It all felt pretty hopeless. I realized that everyone I knew felt stuck in the same situation I was in. We were all working dead-end jobs for shit pay, and feeling crushed beneath the gears. We kept working the same routines because we didn't know what else to do, and because, truthfully, there weren't many other opportunities open to us.

I wondered how many people felt like we did? I wondered how many people of my generation felt that their lives were devoid of purpose? I wondered how many of us felt like we were scraping by from paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet, too broke and too stressed-out to plan our lives a month down the road, much less to plan an actual future. I wondered how many of us would ever make as much money in our lifetimes as our parents had?

I thought about the dot-com bust, and the Enron scandal, and the market crash following 9/11, and our government's corporate ties, and I wondered how all of this might have helped to create the environment my friends and I found ourselves in?

All of these thoughts intersected with my music, and over the summer, I found I'd written a number of songs dealing with these themes. Around mid-August, I decided that my "cohesive album" had virtually written itself. I had around 8 songs that dealt with Corporate America from a number of angles, ranging from cheeky ridicule to subtle character studies to apocalyptic drama.

Once I realized what I had, I started compiling different tracklistings, and found a dramatic arc to carry the album from beginning to end. That gave me a very clear idea of what I was trying to accomplish, and showed me a few places where my concept was lacking. I compensated by writing a few new tunes, and ended up dropping others from the tracklist.

Before I get any further, I want to stress that very few of these songs have been recorded in any fashion. This is a huge project, and some of my "songs" are little more than a verse, a chorus, a lyrical motif, and a unifying theme.

I wanted to share these ideas with you all some time ago, but I didn't really know how to explain it all yet, and moreover, I didn't have anything to show you.

One of the reasons I'm posting here tonight is that I finally have one song that sounds complete -- even though I've got to do some major re-mixing, re-recording, and some electronic tweaking of the drums. It's called "The Golden Goose Egg," and it's posted on my Myspace account at "www.myspace.com/collapsiblefortunes." Some of you may have heard it before, when I posted a simple all-guitar demo version last summer. You may be surprised to find how different it sounds now that it's all fleshed-out.

Before you go check out that song, though, let me hit you with a couple more things:

The sound: This album's sound is going to be central to its concept. I want it to sound slick, commercial, and produced. I want it to sound like music you might hear at the shopping-mall -- not because that's where I'd like it to be played, but because that is the sound of Corporate America. That is the sound of money. That is the sheep's clothing. The wolf, so to speak, will be in the way the lyrics add up. I've been calling this sound "Pop music for the people," and by that, I mean this: Corporate record companies have plucked pop-music from its legitimate roots and bastardized it, stripped it of meaning, and sold it back to us in multimillion-dollar brainwashing campaigns. Together with MTV, those in charge of making and marketing music have created a social context whereby "fashion" and "cool" trump meaning and social relevance. I sense that there are those among us who hunger for relevant music, and we even see relevant bands occasionally cross-over into the mainstream (Modest Mouse and the Flaming Lips come to mind). I want to create an album that re-envisions "pop music" as a dynamic tool for spreading ideas and communicating relevant emotions. I'm sick of music that sounds slick and has the emotional relevance of a shopping-spree or a temper-tantrum. I want to create music that sounds slick, and can be enjoyed on a surface-level by the Kens and Barbies of the world, but rewards the thoughtful listener with hidden depths of meaning. I want to create music that could get played at the mall by the clueless people who program the muzak, where it could tweak the ear of a sensitive shopper who's left feeling stunned by a resonant lyrical phrase.

The title: The album is entitled "The Briefcase Blues," unless somebody can convince me of something better. I like this phrase because it sounds cheeky and accessible; it sounds like street-slang for job-related stress. However, I'm sure it won't win any points for originality. I swiped the phrase from the Beck song "Devil's Haircut," and he doubtlessly swiped it from the Blues Brothers, who had an album entitled "Briefcase of Blues." But here's the thing: neither Beck nor the Blues Brothers invested this phrase with any meaning or context. I'm attempting to attach a definition to the phrase. I'm attempting to infuse it with new meaning. Does that legitimize it? Or is this all too cerebral? Any thoughts?

[jtmx1]

Ryan,

I've tried about 10 times to listen to your songs today, but I can't get the silly player to work. I've tried reinstalling Flash and everything. Any suggestions?

Oh, I did read your lyrics and they sound great. This was my favorite:

A paradise is waiting
For the shark to swim!
Find a place in nature!
– jump on in!

[rickus]

I've tried several times today too. I thought it was the firewall here at work. I'm eager to hear the song though. I probably won't have much to offer as far as a music critique, but I can state without any hesitation that I LOVE your idea. I've often felt the way you described, toward corporate America. Fight the power Ryan, one cord at a time.

[Thanin]

I’ll say these two things: 1). Never over think your art. 2). No one ever cares about concept if the aesthetics aren't sound.

[ryan]

Hey, thanks guys. Thanin, I definitely hear you. Concept without a great aesthetic = null value. Ah, but a great aesthetic + a great concept can = more than the sum of its parts! I think of the Arcade Fire's "Funeral" as a prime example of the latter. But yeah, heh, I do tend to overthink things.

I'm not sure what's up with the player. It had been working fine, but today, I can see it just sits there and says "buffering." My guess is that MySpace's servers are overloaded. They're such a hugely popular service, I've noticed even when I'm trying to do routine things like update the text on my profile, I sometimes have to wait an inordinate length of time for the transaction to complete. Everyone I know who uses MySpace has encountered the same problem recently. I'd just ask you guys to try again later, if you don't mind. If this keeps up, though, I'll have to upload the songs to my own webhost.

[ryan]

Funny. I was just now going to email the MySpace support team about the music problem, but it seems they're already aware of it. There was already an email from their support team waiting for me, and it said, "sorry about the music not playing. our backend provider that hosts & streams the music files is choking, they're trying to fix it!"

[Jeff]

Ryan,

I.
Hope you are doing well. It sounds like your job may not provide much of the meaning in your life. Maybe the music you create does that for you.

Whenever I listen to your stuff I always lament the fact that you, Justin, and I aren’t in a band together. We’re blood, after all, and I think we all understand one another pretty well: Justin needs someone to force him to work, you need people who love your musical ideas to pick them up and play with them, and I need people to tell me when my ideas are laughable and uncool. I think we would be a great band. What would we call ourselves…

II.
Anyway, here are a few comments on your tunes. I listened to each one three times before I wrote this:

Golden Goose Egg:

First and last, you are a great audio engineer. I love how everything has its place in your mix. You introduce parts in a very logical order and they continue till they are all complete. Most excellent!

I like how the guitar tones you choose are different but well matched.

I like your voice. How many takes does it take you to get your perfect pitch? I usually move on after I’ve missed several notes two or three times. (But then I am usually writing the song as I’m recording the vocal.)

I love the bit where the vocal starts “the time is wasting away” at 4:03. From there till the end is my favorite part of the song. Everything comes together. The mood solidifies, and I can begin to feel the song. Though I admire much in the beginning of the song, I find myself analyzing your technique more than simply feeling things. But from 4:03 onward it’s like that point in sex where you forget timing your strokes and concentrating on your partner’s feelings and just start getting it on.

One critical comment: The string samples that you used could be better. They are pretty good, but just close enough to the real thing to disrupt the mood.


By the Hour:

Are those real handclaps? Sound like it. You are going to have to tell me how to record vocals. I submit myself to your tutelage, vocal master.

Your mixing prowess amazes me. I like the clipping on the vocal: noticeable but not distracting.

The do-wop bit is interesting, but it always strikes me as odd when I hear it.

I like the vocal “take me away from…a million ways from here”

III.
As for the concept of your project: I am right with you on your conception of pop music. I, too, like experimental pop. I want my new things just new enough to let me see the old things in new ways, or just old enough to let me see how the advance was made. Ultimately, I see this as a quest for relevance. Sure, there are the real musicians, two or three of which are a hundred years ahead of their time. But the majority of them aren’t writing songs for now or later. If I have to choose, I’ll take now, but give me a now that is on its way to tomorrow.

As for the content of your project, it's timely. I have one question: Are you going to give us a solution to our predicament or are you just going to describe it? I’ve recently heard the new Flaming Lips CD, and I am hungry to see the Psychonauts among us take some big leaps.

Finally, I just want to thank you for being you. Sometimes I’ve worried about you, Ryan. I know you have amazing talents, and it pisses me off that you aren’t taken up as a wonder. I am confident, however, that if you persist in your way you'll be just fine.

With Much Admiration,
Jeff

PS The way you use the words “we” and “us” strikes me as exactly right. You are one hell of a writer. Chris is, too. Do you guys get your skills from journalism or did journalism get you because of your skills?

[ryan]

Jeff,

Thanks for the thoughtful feedback. I always appreciate your analyses. You care deeply about music, ideas, and art in general, as do many of the people who post here, and that's why I like to share my ideas in this forum.

I.

You are correct in assuming that my job provides little or no meaning in my life. I've always found meaning in my art, whether it was writing, photography, or music. That said, I was recently dumbfounded to discover the extent to which a job can affect my life. Last spring, when I first started taking calls at DirecTV, I realized that this job was going to make me feel awful inside, all the time. It was interesting how this dawned on me before the job had really taken hold of my feelings. Over the next few weeks, I could feel the place gradually getting under my skin. The things that had been easy for me to shrug-off at first became more and more tiresome. Within a couple of months, my general mood had become tense, depressed, and powerless. And all the time, the part of me that had predicted this mood-shift watched, fascinated, taking notes, and observing that the curve of my behavioral shift was common among all new employees at DirecTV. In short, everyone started out thinking this would be a great place to work, and wowed by the benefits -- and within a few short weeks, everyone had reached the same bitter zombielike state. It really bothered me, to say the least.

In light of all of this, I've come to the conclusion that all of us are defined, to a very large extent, by the work we do, like it or not. And this is one of the reasons I quit working a full-time corporate dayjob recently, and started persuing IT/Telecommunications contract-work instead. So far, I'm much happier; I just hope I can stay employed often enough to make ends meet.


I would love to be in a band with you and Justin. I'm not sure what we'd call ourselves. My first-thing-off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion is "Plastic Madison and the Phonies." I've been reading the "Let's Write a Song #1" thread, and I think it's a good idea, and I intend to get involved. I think that, for now at least, I'd be most comfortable being told what to contribute, and letting someone else do the songwriting and lyric-writing. It's not that I wouldn't like to be involved to a larger degree, but I'm hard-pressed for time as it is, and I have my own project to work on.


II.

I'd love to share some mixing and recording tips with you. I'm not sure I'm as talented as you think I am; a lot of what I do is sheer trial-and-error. But I honestly could write a book about what I know and the mistakes I've learned from. At any rate, here are a few of my own thoughts on the recording / mixing of these songs. Sorry if this is a bit long-winded. I hope you find something of use here:

Golden Goose Egg is very much about the drums and bass. I tried very hard to create a "mechanical" kind of effect, where the entire song would function like a clockwork mechanism, with everything feeding into and spiralling back out from the central beat. This is actually a concept I've been applying in some measure to all the songs I record -- but in this particular instance, I wanted the clockwork mechanism to be very apparent. Thematically, this song is about the breaking of a dream, or about the way life can force us to give up our dreams; you have to work to get paid so you can live, and dreams have little cash-value for most of us. This suggests a repetitive, soul-crushing routine. I decided to use a drum-machine with heavy, nearly tribal beats, to convey this feeling. The bassline is the other half of the rhythm section; I wrote the bassline as if it were another drum, one with a variable pitch-value. Its function is to lend a rhythmic accent and intensity by essentially just tying different beats together.

The guitar tones: All the guitars in this piece except for Paul's solo (right before the "Time is wasting away" part) were recorded direct-in using a Line6 PodXT. This is an incredibly useful device, and I can't recommend it highly enough. It not only allows me to easily select from a wide variety of tones, but it also allows me to re-create those tones later by simply dialling-in a preset. You simply can't do this with a live amplifier -- at least, not with the recording conditions I have to contend with. When I recorded Paul's solo, we hooked up my Fender Pro Reverb amplifier, and he plugged an electric hollowbody of some sort into it, and used a long chain of stompboxes to shape his tone. We mic'ed the amp with an SM-57 just off-axis and pointed toward the center of the cone, back maybe an inch or two from the cabinet. We also mic'ed with an Oktavia MK012 condenser, set back about 4 feet and placed in the corner, pointed toward the amp, to capture some room reverberations. He recorded 4 or 5 variations of the lead, and I constructed the current mix out of the 2 best takes, blending the SM57 and Oktavia signals to taste.

In general, having a Line6 PodXT at my disposal has greatly affected the way I record guitars and bass. Usually, when constructing a song, I'll record all my scratch guitar and bass tracks through the PodXT. It's so easy to dial-in tones, I have a lot of fun trying-out different tonal combinations and seeing which tones compliment each other well, and which ones do not. I often opt for having something with a lot of body and an overdriven sound for the main rhythm guitar, and then I'll pair it with a really thin, gainy lead. When constructing a finished mix, I usually plan on having the "main body" of the guitar parts recorded direct-in through the PodXT, but recording some of the leads through a mic'ed amplifier to provide a "live flavor" to to the song.

Through much trial and error, I've discovered that the best way to record bass is direct-in, unquestionably. Perhaps under certain ideal conditions, using the very best equipment, one could produce a palatable bass-sound by mic'ing a cabinet -- but not in my experience. Of course, my conditions are far from ideal. So, I've found the best way to get a great bass track is to understand that the "musical" value of a bass comes from the harmonics of the strings, while the "punch" of a bass comes from the "fundamentals." In practical application, what this means is that you should pay as much attention to capturing the higher frequencies of your bass-track as you'd pay to capturing the lower ones. What I do is, I boil my bass-strings for 5 or 10 minutes the night before I track. Then I dry 'em off using a towel and a blow-drier, then I re-string 'em, and set my action and intonation as perfectly as possible. The boiling of the strings and the correct setting of the intonation does more than anything to bring the harmonics to life. Then, when I record, I go direct-in through a bass-oriented preset I constructed on my PodXT. I often use compression on a bassline, while recording, to even-out the sound and avoid clipping.

You mentioned the strings. Yeah, I agree, they sound sickly. I totally plan to re-record them, hopefully using a real string-section (my friend Noam has the connections). What you're hearing is a mixture of 2 tracks of actual violin (recorded by me, playing into an ADK A-51 condenser mic in my music room), 1 track of standard MIDI "violin," 1 track of standard MIDI "strings," and 1 track of MIDI "contrabass." This construction was the result of trial-and-error, and the fact that I was really in a hurry. I had access to a real violin for a very short time, and I had no idea how this string part would be written -- I only had the basic idea of the melody; I didn't yet know how the counterpoint would work. So I recorded the whole thing using MIDI keyboard patches, then replaced 2 of the tracks with real violin. And I'm a crappy violinist, so part of what sounds bad is that one of the tracks of "real violin" is a bit off.

Vocals: I use a variety of methods to get a good vocal-sound, and it all depends on what "flavor" I'm looking for. I enjoy recording vocals more than I enjoy recording anything else -- and yet, it always drives me crazy. It is very difficult to get good results.

Here's the most important lesson I've learned about recording vocals: If you sing the right pitch, at the right moment, that's maybe half of what goes into a good vocal performance. The other half is an acting-job. It's how you inflect what you're saying. It's whether you sound stern, or resigned, or happy, or sad, or wistful. It's whether you slur your words, or clip them tightly. It's how you breathe in-between your words. It's whether you're right up on the mic, or whether you're across a room, letting the mic capture the reverberations of your voice.

And this is just from a performance standpoint. You also have to look at it from an engineering standpoint. You have to think, "Okay, I know how I want my vocals to sound. I know how I'm going to sing them. Now, what combination of microphones and effects would best capture the sound of my performance?"

I used to use the SM57 a lot, because that's one of three microphones I own, and the other two are crap. I have since decided that the SM57 is good for capturing a VERY THIN vocal sound, but not for vocals that need to have a lot of body. When I'm tracking vocals with the SM57, I usually plug it into my Behringer UB1204 mixer, toggle the "low cut" filter on (which cuts all frequencies below 75hz by 18db) to decrease popping and other low-frequency breath-noises, and set the three-band EQ something like this:

Hi (12kHz) +3db
Mid (2.5kHz) +3db to +15db, depending on how boxy and overdriven I want the vocal to sound.
Low (80Hz) -3db to -15db, depending on how "thick" or "thin" I want the vocal to sound.

I then set the channel-fader at the "0" level, and dial the gain up until I'm only hitting red when I sing REALLY LOUD. Then I connect the mixer's "tape outs" to my Aardvark 24/96, enable some very light compression on the Aardvark's recording bus (using the Aardvark's built-in DSP compression), and pump up the Aardvark's gain until my signal from the mixing board is consistantly hot, but never clipping. The analogue Behringer mixer acts as a limiter of sorts, so that if I sing too loud, I'll overdrive the board and get analogue distortion, but never any digital clipping. The compressor is there mainly to smooth-out the dynamics of the vocal, thus increasing its overall presence in the mix.

The vocals for By The Hour were recorded with an SM57, with the settings described above.

A few months back, my friend Andy let me borrow his ADK A51 condenser mic, and my friend Eric let me borrow his two Oktavia MK012 condenser mics. The vocals for Golden Goose Egg were recorded using these mics, and the SM57, in various combinations and configurations.

For the verses, I set-up the SM57 as described above, and sang directly into it, from a distance of 1 to 2 feet away, really projecting my voice to create a sense of urgency. I also had the A-51 set-up about 5 or 6 feet behind the SM57, right in the corner of the room, where it could capture maximum reverberations (by my reasoning). I blended these two sources during mixdown to create the vocal for the verse. I'm not totally happy with the results, but I do like the way you can definitely hear a "room sound."

For the chorus, I recorded the lead vocal as just described, then recorded the backup vocal by standing about 70-degrees off-axis from the A51 and about 3 or 4 feet back, and just belting it out as soulfully as I could. I used only the A51 signal for the backup vocal.

My favorite vocal section is the post-solo part that begins, "The time is wasting away." I agree with you; that's where the song really comes together. I think the effect of that section is due to a number of things, but the vocals are intregal in that effect. Here, I was striving for a really intimate scene. I wanted to pull the listener in, and vocally, I wanted to sound exhausted, world-weary, and knowing. I imagined the vocal performance as having a similar effect to Bowie's vocal performance in the opening of "Rock n' Roll Suicide." After trying numerous vocal approaches, I found that the best way to capture the effect I wanted was to sing very quietly, very close-up on one of the condenser mics, with the bass-EQ turned all the way down and the mids and highs up quite high. This had the additional effect of capturing a nice breath-noise without me having to exaggerate my breaths for effect in my performance. I found that the Oktavia had a slightly darker, warmer character, and the ADK had a brighter, crisper character. So, I used both; I did 2 tracks of the main vocal melody on the Oktavia, 1 on the ADK, and then did a barely-sung falsetto harmony on the ADK.

And that's quite a lot to write about in one evening. I'm done.

Actually, one other thing: On a very general note, I've come to see the writing, recording, and mixing of music as quite similar to the process of creating a film. This is because I approach every song in sections, and as a whole, to create a specific effect. I think about music cinematically. I see a song as a vehicle for communicating a specific vision, and I see that vision as being comprised of a number of scenes. Each "section" of a song (intro, verse, chorus, bridge) is a "scene" which should contribute meaning to the whole. If a section does not contribute meaning to the whole, or if a section is redundant, then it should be removed. When I start recording, I think about each section as a separate unit. I think about what has come before, and how I might build upon that for each successive iteration of a particular section. I challenge myself to "stage" at least two different "soundscapes" in a song, because I think a striking effect is created every time the sonic palette of a song changes. It's like changing scenes in a film.


III.

Relevance. You put your finger right on it. That is what it's about.

You ask if the concept of my recording-project includes a solution, or if I'm just going to describe the problem? To be honest, I wasn't really thinking in those terms when I conceived it, but I believe it's important to at least hint at a solution, even if you aren't entirely sure what the solution is. I don't pretend to know all the answers, and although I do have some specific ideas about how our corporate culture might be brought under control and life might be made better for everyone, I didn't feel like anyone would be interested in listening to songs about these specifics. Moreover, I don't think a logical argument is ever as powerful as an emotional one. The average person doesn't want to think. The average person wants to feel. And that's what the medium of music is best-suited for, anyway. Music makes us feel.

But yes, in my own way, I do suggest a solution. The album follows an emotional arc which begins in jest and irony, descends into frustration, explodes into anger, collapses in despair, then finally collects itself in a final song of independance and solidarity, with the declaration, "On this place where I stand / I am making a building / starting with a foundation of / brimstone and steel. / I'm building it on the land I own / just outside of the city / I am breaking the ground / on this clear winter day / because I / I am an architect. / Tomorrow's there to build."

It's a metaphor, obviously, for finding relevance and independence in the creation of something of your own, whether it's your own art, or an actual building, or whatever. This is where meaning is found; this is how we escape corporate tyrrany; we create a definition for ourselves based on our own works, we celebrate the independant works of others, and we collaborate to help others complete their own works of vision.

[ryan]

Here are the lyrics to "Briefcase Blues," the song I'm currently working on. It's intended to be the first track on the album. While "The Golden Goose-Egg" is the second-half of the album's 2-song climax, "Briefcase Blues" is more like the introduction, or the the mission statement. It's intended to be kind of wacky, but in a way that subtly burns. It features a pretty small arrangement which explodes into some vast, cascading harmonies about halfway through. I just finished tracking the big harmony section tonight; I'd like to post a scratch-mix for you to listen to; I'll let you know when that's posted. At any rate, here are the words, for your perusal. I'd like to know any reactions you might have to them, positive or negative.


Eight o'clock comes much too early
Hit the floor and turn the light on
Tell the children not to worry
'Cuz the pressure keeps us bright and strong.
Motivation
-- I just wanna make it to my break.
Evaluation
-- It's about all I can take, no doubt about it.

She's in love if she's in the money
She keep ya workin' hard and long
thinkin' things are bright and sunny
'til you find your clothes out in the lawn
Termination
-- Please accept our legal right to choose
Consolidation
-- Thanks for being used.

Ya get a memo stating that
they're scaling back your compensation
They have a chuckle figuring
You're tendering your resignation.

Ya end up where ya start
Chewin' on yer heart
Keepin' quiet, cool, together.

Ya watch another day
come and go away
Dreamin' of something better, but --

If you keep your numbers up
And you stop complaining
You could climb another rung
And find your piece a-waiting
And you know that you'll be stung
'Cuz that's the game we're playing
You gotta hurt to get ahead
That's what he said, aw.

So slick your hair back, shine your shoes,
Straighten-up your tie.
Put on your sunday dress and
Make-up those pretty eyes.
There's everything to win and
Everything to lose.
You'll find you're in good company
With the briefcase blues.

Well they're ruthless and they're cold
And they'd as soon betray ya --
But if you do what you are told
They will feed and pay ya.
And it's not in my control
So I just play the game yeah
But it's tearing up my soul
Every day, goddamn you.

So slick your hair back, shine your shoes,
Straighten-up your tie.
Put on your sunday dress and
Make-up those pretty eyes.
It's all across the nation
Look anywhere you choose.
You'll find you're in good company
With the briefcase blues.

[ryan]

Okay, for anyone who's interested, there's now a drumless "rough draft" mix of Briefcase Blues posted on my MySpace account (www.myspace.com/collapsiblefortunes). This song still needs a lot of work. I think the harmonies are great, but they don't sonically "fit in" with the rest of the tracks. Some reverb, EQ, and compression should make the harmonies sit better. Right now, everything in the song is totally dry; there are no effects save for the line-in effects I used while recording.

You'll notice that the guitar and bass tracks become crappier as the song progresses -- that's because I was basically just trying to get the song-structure itself down, more than the actual details of the bass and guitar parts. Everything in this song is focused around the big harmony section that occurs 3/4 of the way through the song -- but before I recorded the harmonies, I had to know how I was going to build up to them, and where the song would go after the harmonies were finished -- hence, I couldn't record the harmony section until I'd sketched-out a "backbone" for the entire song.

So, what you get is a scratch recording of a song where really the only thing that works is the harmony section -- and that is sabotauged by some reckless bass-and-guitar nonsense underneath it.

The reason I'm posting the song in this early form is twofold; first, I'd like to know what kind of feedback you guys might have on the song-structure, lyrics, melody, and just in a general sense, how the song sits with you. Secondly, I figured Jeff might like to hear what one of my very raw, very unfinished tracks sounds like.

So, give it a listen, and let me know. I'll be gone for a few weeks starting tomorrow. I'm going to Clinton, Mississippi, on a contract job for MCI/Verizon/Dell. See you all when I get back!

[Jeff]

Wow, those harmonies at 3:20 are so cool. You are an honorary Beach Boy!

I do my rough drafting differently than you do. You seem to sketch out the whole song here, I get the idea that you will go back and rework the whole thing. I almost never sketch out the whole song in a draft. Rather, I keep that in my head and work on instrumentation and feel in the draft. That is largely why I just loop a few measures on these snippets that I send out—you can get feel and tone from a loop. Now, I did draft the whole Christmas song. Also, the two songs that I wrote for Chris (Green Line and The Sun and You and Me) were very short, so I drafted both completely. But mostly I don't work that way anymore.

On to the critical comment, and I only have one: I think 5:26 is a little long for this song. The song begins and ends with a remarkable energy, but at various points along the way the energy dissipates instead of builds or it doesn’t build in a way that feels coherent. I think the best solution to the problem would be to simply excise parts of the piece. Lyrically that would entail a few changes that you probably aren’t willing to make, since the lyric seems very carefully planned. However, if you were willing to talk about cutting it down I’d do it this way:

I think you could take 1-2 minutes of the song out. The beginning is so strong, as is the end, so the parts I would cut are the ones that seem like musings or repetitions. I really dig everything up through 1:36 of the song. I especially like the instrumental bit from 1:10 to 1:36. The bit of the song from 1:36 to 2:31 is problematic. This seems like a musing, which could be very cool. But as it stands, it is an energy thief. Alternatively you could cut from 1:36 straight to 3:00 where the harmonies are introduced. I would like to hear what that would sound like. My worry would be that we’d get too much of the initial chord progression too soon. But I don’t know. The harmonies are cool and add immensely to the experience the second time through. Finally, from 4:15 to 4:42 I think there are few too many repeats.

I dig the song. Maybe it is a fine length and I just need to hear the additional parts you have planned. At any rate, I like your project a whole bunch!

Be safe on your trip, Ryan!

Jeff

[ryan]

Jeff,

Thanks for the keen insights. Actually, I agree with your feeling that the song is too long. After reading your comment and suggestions, I took another listen to the bridge of the song, and decided to rewrite it. What I've done is, I've excised the D/A part which occured at 1:36, and I've re-written the instrumental section that runs from 1:10 to 1:36, so that it keeps the same bluesy groove but manages to work into a key-change which resolves back to the tonic the moment the song hits the space-jam section, which now occurs at 1:36. I think it works better this way; the D/A section sounded too big and anthemic for this song. Now there's a feeling of a rolling kind of buildup, which suddenly hits a speedbump and goes skittering off into the space-jam section before collecting itself again and diving into the chorus.

Ehh, but it's silly to try to describe these changes. I'll just post another mix when I'm ready to do that. Again, thanks for the feedback.

PS. I had an interesting time in Mississippi. It's so close to Oklahoma -- yet culturally, it seemed oceans away. I had a good time just listening to the way people talk down there, and observing strangers in restaurants. It made me realize what a microcosm of the world I truly inhabit.

[Jeff]

Just wanted to tell you that I listened to all three songs in the Collapsible Fortunes project. I am on my 7th beer, so I wasn't reading the lyrics; I was just listening for pleasure. And pleasure was to be found.

You are a talented guy, Ryan. Probably "multi-talented" is a better word.

This guy asked to be my friend on myspace the first day I signed up: www.myspace.com/betr . You are about a gazillion times more talented than he is in every respect, i.e., you are a better song writer, a better musician, and a far, far better vocalist, etc... Still, this dude has 28842 profile views. I found myself relatively pissed about that. You and Justin are the most talented composers that I know.

I wish you two all the best with your music, but the thing I think you both need the most is a chorus of fans chanting your name. To that effect:

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan...

[Jeff]

PS Some things I noticed (better) this time:

The bouncing drumsticks on the snare on The Golden Goose Egg. Way cool. The momentum of the song. (Some times I think that if you can get a feel for a song, then you can understand almost anything. The philosophical part of me thinks that's cool because it means that direction is more important than conclusion, but we (Western culture) don't have a logical understanding of aesthetic direction.)

By the Hour: This isn't new, but the compression and brightness of the rhythm guitar is really fun to hear. This time I was listening to the tambourine. Is it a loop or do you play it all the way through? I think I make loops way too much. (I'll be posting my new recording rules soon.)

The thing I noticed most about Briefcase Blues this time was the ending, the little flourish to the tonic. Perfect, I think. I have made too many grandiose exits in my songs. This one ends soundly and quietly. I need to remember that.

Again, good stuff!